EPISODE 158 – Sta-dick-stics


Does a body good!

It’s only his second show back and already Jabari is pulling his weight. He came up with this episode’s title. Towards the end of the show we tell you about a new doll being introduced here in the US that teaches your little girl an interesting lesson… how to breast feed. That’s right, “The Breast Milk Baby” as it’s called, features a mouth that moves and makes a suckling sound effect. All little Suzy has to do is put on an apron that features sensors in the form of cute little flowers where her nipples should be. Not listed on the site, but seen in this YouTube video, is an accessory breast pump — sold separately — to add to little Suzy’s inappropriate playtime. You’ll have to listen to hear how we derail from this doll to the average penis sizes around the world again, but that’s what sparks Jabari’s play-on-words. As we’ve noted before, Dennis has yet to receive hate mail. And as he noted about 2 shows ago, there seems to be an unfortunate number out of the Asian community when it comes to the average length of their junk. This seems like the best working model right now to get Dennis some hate mail. However, during the course of this program we all say some things that could qualify for an angry letter. E-Mail addresses are given out several times during the laughter, so get typin’.
Before we offend a good portion of the international population, we talk MTV and their new series TEEN WOLF. This isn’t Michael J. Fox’s TEEN WOLF though. This one is a drama. We’re calling it TWOLF-LIGHT. As 80s babies we take special offense to this broadcasted atrocity. But in this day and age, we’re starting to take things like this with a grain of salt since they’re happening everywhere, in every medium. The most we can do, is sit in the bleachers and laugh at it.
Charlie Sheen is suffering from Rebecca Black syndrome. He’s popular… but for the wrong reasons. That became overwhelmingly apparent during his first stop on his 20-city tour this past week. People have been fans of him on Twitter and on his incomprehensible webcast, but they weren’t too keen on Sheen when he took the stage for his live show. He wasn’t funny, he wasn’t entertaining and before the show even ended hoards of people were getting up and leaving, demanding refunds. Many of them came right out and said the only reason they bought tickets was to see him fail horribly… and that he did. It’s over Charlie, people don’t like you, they like to make fun of you. Move on. Oh, and CBS? Please cancel TWO AND A HALF MEN. It too is over. Leave it be.
Maybe people will sue Charlie to get their money back. Suing seems to be the American way. It always has been. You can sue for something absurd, pull a dollar amount out of your ass and you’ll likely get it. There were 2 lawsuits that blipped on our radar this week. One of them from a man named Larry Klayman. He’s suing Facebook and its founder Mark Zuckerberg for a billion dollars because they didn’t take down an anti-Semitic Facebook page as quickly as he would’ve liked. Wait until you hear his argument for why Zuckerberg should be held accountable. He sights a certain movie that tells the untrue story of how Facebook came to be. And wait until you hear who else this Klayman fellow has sued in the past! The other lawsuit comes by way of the RIAA. Yeah, they’re still around. They’ve filed a claim that you’ll find hard to believe. I don’t want to give too much away here, but I will say this, the ass they pulled this number from must be sorer than shit right now!
Once again, cue the lens flares and D.C. wide shots… Michael Bay is back. This time he’s courting the deity of sci-fi fanboys the world over to voice a seldom heard about Transformer in the next film. Bay says he was scared to ask this guy, but given his wife is Bay’s cousin, that made it easier. Have you figured out who I’m talking about? Open your ‘ears’ and listen to the show, it’ll ‘point’ you in the right direction.

Bangs’ YouTube Channel
MTV’s “Teen Wolf”
Maximum Comics Las Vegas
Rave Motion Pictures
JaleelWhite.com – Sweet Irony Productions
“The Expendables” Official Site
Jamendo.com – Discover the true value of FREE music!
Entertainment Weekly
The Breast Milk Baby

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