Posts Tagged ‘april fools day’
Happy April Fool’s Day everyone. Hopefully you pulled a fast one on somebody you know. Hopefully they didn’t punch you in the throat or otherwise cease associating with you. I’m gonna be honest, this year’s show is half-assed… as compared to other holiday shows which are usually five-eighths-assed. It’s also a testament that anything we cover on this show, good or bad, can easily be unbelievable. Due to some scheduling issues, we recorded next week’s show right after this one. That means I had twice the show to put together last week. I was already running short on time, which means both this week’s and next week’s rundowns are a little on the skimpy side. I had asked the fellas to pitch in on sending me stories both true and false, but I got nothing from them. As usual with the April Fool’s edition it’s your job to figure out which stories are real and which are fake. What DVD releases could possibly be a joke? Was that E-Mail berating us a hoax? Play along won’t you?
Like my CeeLo Green story from last week, I’ve got another intriguing tale to tell. No prank here. Listen in as I explain why I went to bed the morning of our Sunday netcast at 6am. The story also explains that stack of shot glasses you can find in our TwitPic feed. Trust me though, it goes deeper than just binge drinking. I perhaps made a new friend??? Question mark.
Only one of the new DVDs listed today is a faker. Surprisingly, the guys didn’t call it out. Don’t be fooled like they were!
What we all can only hope is an April Fool’s prank, is this first story of the night. By now you’ve all heard of ‘bronies’ right? These are grown men who have a disturbing fascination with the MY LITTLE PONY toys and cartoons. You don’t have to go far on sites like DeviantArt to find the creepy devotion these dudes have to their equestrian obsessions. Believe it or not, some of them draw elaborate scenes of the ponies engaging in sexual deviance. Many of the ponies are painted with anatomical accuracy. And if that’s not enough, take the guy in today’s story… he wrote an angry E-Mail to one of these artists demanding he stop creating pictures of one, Twilight Sparkle, a purple pony the man claims with which he’s engaged to be wed. He doesn’t like this guy drawing his “Twiley” in such compromising poses. He explains in great detail, which we talk about a little bit, about how she — A FUCKING CARTOON! — is represented in real life by a custom made plush toy that he cuddles and kisses. And although he doesn’t mention it, I’m sure he fucks it and it’s fur is probably crusty in some spots if you catch my drift. You thinkin’ this is an April Fool’s joke yet? God I hope so.
It’s no secret that the Chinese love their tea. And like the skat from a civet cat used to brew coffee, they’ve got a tea made from the manure of something much much smaller… caterpillars. The bug poop tea is just one of many varieties of fermented teas they call Pu-erh (pronounced poo-air). This one is cleverly named, Poo Poo Pu-erh. See what they did there? Like this turd-tea, the story may be hard to swallow. Find out if it’s the real deal!
Food can be a weapon. A finely sharpened carrot could stab somebody. A frozen chicken breast could be used to bludgeon. But what about a triangular flapjack? Before you jump to whether or not we’re fooling you, hear all the flap facts.
And lastly, everybody loves a wedding. A happy couple, lots of food, booze, dancing and cake! Now imagine some nudity thrown into the festivities. Even better, nudity from a stranger! That’s not good at all actually. Especially on grandma’s weak heart. She’s got the best view from the bride’s side of the exposed sausage pressed firmly against the window. What makes this story ‘unbelievable’ is the flasher’s name.
Stories aside there’s plenty of other foolin’ around on today’s show. According to the ErrorFM chat room, Jabari would make a great little league coach. And hear about Dennis’ fascination, not with ponies, but with wolves, as he stumbles upon a story about one in particular bent on escaping Yellowstone Nation Park.
As I mentioned, next week there will be a new show, just not live on Sunday evening. Download it Monday at 3pm/PT as usual. The live stuff returns April 14th. See you fools then!
Nicolas Cage on IMDb
AV Club: The Internet finally reaches its apex as man marrying My Little Pony character writes angry email to erotic pony artist
My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magical
BBC News: Canvey Island school bans triangle shaped flapjacks
The Chronicles of Wolf 27:
CNN Interactive: Wolves’ return to Yellowstone sparks controversy
Yellowstone Science: Ten Years of Yellowstone Wolves
Heard In This Week’s Open:
New DVD Releases for Tuesday, April 2nd:
The Bible: The Epic Miniseries
Marvel Cinematic Universe: Phase One – Avengers Assembled (10-Disc Limited Edition Six-Movie Collector’s Set) [Blu-ray]
John Dies At The End
The Baytown Outlaws
Nura: Rise of the Yokai Clan Set 1
Close Encounters of the Third Kind (Two-Disc Collector’s Edition)
Guys Gone Wild: Fresh Meat
We’ve got mail… from our friend down in Australia, Marshall. You remember him right? He sat in with us on episode 92. He got a little behind on his Who Asked episodes, but finally got the chance to catch up and decided to E-Mail us afterward with an update about a story we did involving the ban on underaged-looking women in porn. He’s got some detail in a lengthy E-Mail!
Some of our new releases are real and some are not. It’s too easy these days to make up a faulty movie title and mix it in with the real deals. So many legitimate titles seem like someone is playing a trick on you nowadays. One release, it’s authenticity not being disclosed here, brings up some old TV blunder memories all thanks to the moronic programmers of the once mighty UPN network. “The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer” (the P is NOT silent) is no April Fool’s prank. It’s not made up. This was a real show that aired on network television albeit for an embarrassing four episodes. But nevertheless… if you’ve never heard of this show, Google it. And prepare to be amazed that it was ever green lit.
There’s news of two classic sitcoms going the way of the big screen adaptation. Details of these have been “altered” for the sake of the whole April Fool’s Day thing we’re claiming to be doing this week, blah blah… and so on. And along with those stories are a couple that, in whole, may or may not be true. Will you be fooled?
There’s a special edition of Who Facted You? on today’s show as well. These facts are extra true and you should learn them and remember them for all time. For the knowledge we expel today during this bit could change your very understanding of the universe. What kind of knowledge you ask? Well, knowledge like how many times Bill O’Reilly farts during his show. Now that Fox News link in the Show Links is starting to make sense isn’t it?
Because of the lack of full-assed effort put into this week’s presentation, we end up with time to kill at the end of the show and talk about a recent racial conundrum Dennis, Mike and Chase witnessed while out with former host Jabari and his pals.
Has Australia Really Banned Small Breasts? – Read for yourself at Crikey.com.au
Who played Desmond Pfeiffer?
Ashton Kutcher on IMDb.com
Sarah Palin is on Facebook too!!!
The Discovery Channel
Walt Disney Pictures
The REAL New Releases for Tuesday, March 30th:
Brushin’ For 55 Years: The Complete Crest Radio/TV Commercial History with Companion Book)
Super Market Samurai
The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer (Complete Series)
Darkened Moon: The Vampire Warlock Saga
Crank It Up: The Complete Jason Statham Workout