Posts Tagged ‘funny laws’
For the third show in a row, there’s at least 1 host missing. This time around it’s Mike. Our pal John once again fills the empty seat of a co-host and does his best Mike impression in the process. I think when 1 of us is out, the conversation’s timing gets thrown off. Despite having a fill-in, we’re incapable of always filling the hour. We 5 have become a well oiled machine always delivering 60-minutes of chatter. But a wooden sabot shoe in the form of a missing man, a shitty segment or technical difficulties can be thrown into the gear works and you’re left with something like today’s show.
In this case the sabotage is ‘It’s The Law’. What was once a popular segment on the show doesn’t garner the conversation it used to. With only a few states to go, I feel obligated to finish before retiring the bit. This time we’re looking at laws in Virginia. The state has some pretty strict guidelines you must abide by when getting’ it on. There’s only 1 position allowed, you have to do it in the dark and it’s only aloud in 1 hole. More odd ordinances where those came from.
‘It’s The Law’ wasn’t the only segment where not much was said. At the top of the show we took a moment to recap CES, which by most accounts was pretty ho-hum this year. No major game consoles were unveiled. Most of the flat panels were the same 3D, LED, LCD, or SOB units they’ve been bugging us to buy for 2 years now and the rest was pointless accessories for the iPad. So, not much to talk about there.
The ‘New Releases’ would surely have something worth conversating over… nope. Most of this week’s DVD’s, none of us have heard of. And that’s saying a lot, because our combined knowledge of obscure media is quite vast. I couldn’t even get the guys to stretch on the subject of Andy Dick while I pulled up poll results I forgot to mark down on my paper. Can’t blame them there though… what is there to say about Andy Dick?
We learn that Steven Spielberg will NOT direct Jurassic Park 4. There’s not a whole lot to be said there either. The CW is raiding the box full of DC comics for their next TV series. And they’ve asked the guys that did GREEN LANTERN to develop it. Yeah, because that movie was soooo great right?
No wonder we blast through the rundown with 19-minutes to spare. In our ‘Breaking News’ segment we introduce you to a man arrested for drug possession who has one of the most ridiculous names ever. His first name is Beezow… and there’s plenty more where that came from.
Thank god for YouTube. It’s where everyone goes these days to waste time. To kill the nearly 20-minutes of unplanned Ask-ness we do what we do best, remissness. And what better way to do so on, than old board games and their commercials. The show title is startin’ to make sense now isn’t it? I promise — despite everything I’ve typed here — this is not a ‘bored’ show.
The Adventures Of Tin Tin Website
Read about Green Arrow
Read about Booster Gold
Buy Smallville (The Complete Series) on DVD
Amazon.com – Owners of IMDb.com
Junie Hoang on IMDb – Suing Amazon.com for revealing her age.
Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop on Facebook
New Releases for Tuesday, January 17th:
Ides of March
Merlin (Season 3)
Kevin Hart: Laugh At My Pain
Hetalia: World Series 1 (Season 3) (Limited Edition)
Sliders (Season 5)
Mad (Season 1, Part 2)
Bad Girls [Blu-ray]
Division III: Football’s Finest
It’s another one of ‘those’ shows. Quite frankly, not our best work. Dennis and Jabari are a little hung over. That doesn’t excuse the rest of us, however, we work as a well oiled machine. If one of the cogs gets jammed, we all slow down. We might not be the most interesting part of this show, but our topics are sure worth a listen.
Set a course for STAR TREK: ONLINE, maximum warp! The MMO game from Cryptic Studios plans to go free-to-play before the end of this year. That works out great for those of us too cheap to pay a monthly or lifetime subscription fee. But how will it work out for those who already have? That’s one question we wonder about.
And we didn’t leave you STAR WARS folks out. More news is emerging about the Blu-ray release of the 6 films. Mainly that George Lucas is ‘refurbishing’ them once again. He’s decided to add more CGI whether it be rocks, characters or eyelids. And he’s added the same line of dialogue to the same character he did in EPISODE 3 in EPISODE 6. It was made fun of and not well received then and is already getting the same reaction again.
Once we return from a green screen far far away, it’s time for the second part of our Texas “It’s The Law” segment. We learn which town Dennis can’t move to because of his secret huffing problem, so you won’t want to miss this.
And our show ends with broken news starting with new words being added and old ones taken away from the various dictionaries we use. Words like “tweet”… yeah… I know. That dumb-ass website has had that much of an impact on our culture. I shudder at the thought… or is it shutter? I’d better look that up.
You thought HP’s Touchpads were expensive before? You should see them now. Since the computer giant decided to liquidate the failure that was WebOS they’ve been selling like crazy. So much so, on eBay they’re going for twice what they did before the price drop. One entrepreneurial fellow thought he could take advantage of some of these stupid people too by offering a crude drawing of the tablet and to his surprise, the bids — real and fake — poured in. But why wouldn’t they, after all, he does mention in his auction you get an Android version free. That’s a pretty good deal. Oh, and the drawings are done in blue pen. I hear the market for that kind of work is very strong right now.
Star Trek: Online
Star Trek: Infinite Space
Star Wars: The Complete Saga (Episodes I-VI) [Blu-ray]
Oxford English Dictionary
eBay Auction for HP Touchpad Drawing – Android Tablet drawing included FREE!
New Releases for Tuesday, September 6th:
X-Men: First Class
The Office (Season 7)
Criminal Minds (Season 6)
Fringe (Season 3)
Scarface Limited Edition Steelbook [Blu-ray + Digital Copy]
Community (Season 2)
Scream (5 Film Set) [Blu-ray]
Two and a Half Men (Season 8)
Parks & Recreation (Season 3)
No Ordinary Family (Season 1)
I feel compelled to explain the parody logo pictured at left. It doesn’t come up until the end of the show, but I’ll explain it now. Abercrombie & Fitch, the clothing company fond of photographing hairless young men with their pants unbuttoned is either pulling off an ingenious PR stunt or are genuinely concerned about their brand’s image. Here’s the deal, we’ve all heard of MTV’s JERSEY SHORE right? Well, it turns out “The Situation,” one of the show’s most popular characters — question mark — has been seen frequently sporting their form-fitting fabrics. And given that he’s a douche-bag of indescribable preparations, it’s only natural that Abercrombie wants to distance themselves from him. They’re willing to pay him and his cast mates lots-o-money to NOT wear their clothing. A reverse endorsement deal if you will. This raises a few questions… is A&F being too pretentious? Is this just the risk you run when you’re a clothing company? Are they justified in their concerns? It’s our question to you this week. You can vote on the poll and/or send us your thoughts via E-Mail. We’d love to have ‘em.
Before that though we have a few other stories of interest. At first, we ponder the Apple situation. Unless you live on another planet, you’ve probably heard by now that Steve Jobs has stepped down as CEO of his company. The Intertubes are all a flutter with the news. And we are too, for a few minutes.
Then it’s onto GHOSTBUSTERS news. The day we’ve all been dreading has arrived. Dan Aykroyd has confirmed the film will begin production next spring. He also said it’s moving ahead with or without Bill Murray. It’s no secret Murray hasn’t exactly been ecstatic about the project. He even said the script has been sitting on his desk for months and that he’d read it, eventually. We’ll tell you about a few plot elements and casting possibilities. But to be honest, we’re already feeling a lot less excited about it that Bill Murray.
Then we move along to “It’s The Law.” It’s been awhile since we did this segment and it’s back with a vengeance! The state-of-choice this time has so many moronic-mandates we have to break it up into 2-parts! Be sure to tune in next week for the other half.
And something else to look forward to next week, hopefully, is the arrival of my Roku T-Shirt!!! Hopefully they don’t listen to the crude-fest that is our little show, otherwise they may be paying me to NOT wear their clothes too… who am I kidding, I’ll probably just get a cease and desist order, if not for that, then probably for the logo above!
New Releases for Tuesday, August 30th:
Sons of Anarchy (Season 3)
The Vampire Diaries (Season 2)
House (Season 7)
Madea’s Big Happy Family
Coen Brothers Collection [Blu-ray]
The Nightmare Before Christmas (3-Disc Combo: Blu-ray 3D/Blu-ray/DVD + Digital Copy)
Cougar Town (Season 2)
Herculoids (Complete Series)
Detroit 1-8-7 (Season 5)
Nikita (Season 1)
Alright, so you’re reading this which means God didn’t suck you up into the sky in a blaze of golden light and rich choir ahhhs. It also means that somewhere, Harold Camping is crawling under a rock and plans to remain there for eternity. While one biblical event slipped by, another was taking place. A woman on our show! Now the way I said that sounds like we are vag-deprived and creepy. The truth is, it’s tough getting a female on who enjoys our brand of humor and whose schedule compliments ours. But the stars aligned, timing worked out, Dennis and Jabari couldn’t make it and so their seats were filled with our friends Wendy and once again, Chad. And finally Chad opens up and actually talks on the show. He was on twice before and said a grand total of 5 sentences. If someone out there goes back and actually counts that, I’d be impressed, because I just guessed and am too lazy to actually check myself.
It took no time at all for the Rapture jokes to hit the web and even more so, Facebook. In an instantaneous Photoshop frenzy there were even depictions of the late Macho Man Randy Savage â€” who had died the day before â€” coupled with Jesus in various WWE poses. No time was wasted posting the Jesus-jabs from leaving empty clothing in a public place, to a Dominos Pizza deal good only for Rapture Day. The Intertubes had it all!
From the Rapture to racism we float with another edition of “What Is Michael Bay Up To?” A nerd-rant E-Mail came in this week going off on those who sacked the visceral sack birth idea shown in TRANSFORMERS-2. The point made by our listener was that these ‘sacks’ weren’t conjured up by the Bay-inator as many fans believed, but instead were first mentioned in one of the older cartoon series. To which this E-Mailer argued, you aren’t aloud to complain about them unless you know the franchise yourself. Before you go off on something that isn’t cannon… make sure that it isn’t actually cannon.
But it’s not just jelly-covered embryonic robots people were pissed about in the second film. They weren’t too fond of Bay’s blatant racist robot duo, Skids and Mudflap. Both of which could reference something brown. Well Mr. Bay heard your fist shaking and vowed that these Transformers wouldn’t be in the next movie. And if you can find them in it, he’ll pay you a hefty cash reward. More on this during today’s show.
While we’re on the subject of large sums of money… let us talk now about Seth MacFarlane. Fox has dumped an enormous amount of money into this funny fellow. In return he’s given them 3 television shows, with just 1 of those actually being any good. But that could change in a couple of years. MacFarlane could have 2 hits come 2013 when he revives our Bedrock buddies Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble. A long time coming, MacFarlane will finally get his chance to put his twisted twist on the 60′s Hanna-Barbera animation. We ponder the possibilities of what this show will be like. Good, clean, family fun like the original? Probably not. Funny-ass toilet humor run amok? Probably. Will it do the franchise justice? That’s the 900-pound Stegosaurus in the room. As clever and as funny as FAMILY GUY is, we can’t help but think Seth is going to ‘dirty it up’ with his crude humor. Not that it won’t be funny. But is THE FLINTSTONES really an appropriate platform for it? They make vitamins for kids! A million strong and growing for Christ sake… oops, please don’t take me! The 21st has past! It’s too early to judge and in all honesty we’ll be watching, curious to see what he does with it.
Did I mention we have a FEMALE sitting in today? Wendy is from Hawaii… so what better way to honor her presence than with some hilarious Hawaiian laws. Not the strangest we’ve heard, there are a few though that are worth a couple-a-coconuts. Some Wendy doesn’t even believe are real. “It’s The Law” winds up this episode. With all this Rapture-talk the last few days we need some time to repent so we’re taking next week off. You can come back though June 5th and we’ll have several more new reasons to guarantee our spot in hell.
Read about Macho Man Randy Savage
Transformers Movie Website
Transformers Official Website
Seth MacFarlane on Twitter
Buy “The Flintstones” Complete Series on DVD
Buy “The Flintstones” Live-Action Movie on DVD
New Releases for Tuesday, May 24th:
The Royal Wedding: William & Catherine
Gnomeo & Juliet
I Am Number Four
Gods and Generals: Extended Director’s Cut (Blu-ray Book Packaging)
Platoon (Two-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo)
Transformers (Complete Series)
The Big Bang
Samurai Champloo (Complete Series)
Ice Road Truckers Deadliest Roads (Season 1)
The Kids in the Hall: Death Comes To Town
You’ve probably noticed that we’ve slowed down on the frequency of giving you strange laws from our United States. That’s because we’re running out of them! As this segment inches closer to retirement, we’re trying to make it last for as long as possible. As a result, I’ve reduced it to just once a month. We’ve received millions of E-Mails asking why the segment hasn’t been heard in such a long time? This will hopefully make up for its recent absence… half a freakin’ show of IT’S THE LAW. Almost 2 whole pages of bonkers bureaucracy for your audible ingestion.
And speaking of retirement and making things last as long as possible. Before we dive into our longest law bit to date, we bring you the second edition of our newest segment, GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! One of the topics for this bit involves an expensive penis pump. What qualifies it for Mr. Pesci’s classic order to leave is how you may be able to pay for it. We’re ‘pumped up’ for this one, so tune in for the details.
Does TRANSFORMERS 3: THE DARK OF THE MOON have a budget that nearly reaches astronomical levels? “Not so” says our beloved lens flare-er. He’s setting the record straight on that and supposed issues with shooting the film in 3D. Bay has a choice name for the online media covering the production of his latest robotic romp.
And how many people in the world can say they’ve run over themselves with their own car? And how many of those do you think can say they’ve done it twice in the same day? We know of at least 1 woman in Australia who can. Her story and more is on today’s BREAKING NEWS.
Thanks to Charlie for providing me with a shuttlecraft toy from Star Trek during yet another rant about Abrams’ film. It soothed my emotional rash spurred by JJ’s interpretation of Klingons in a deleted scene from the film’s DVD. The shuttle’s mission is now to maintain orbit around planet Behringer and make sure nobody fiddles with the knobs.
And a big good bye to one of my favorite actors of all time, Leslie Nielson. He died from pneumonia complications in a hospital; a big building with patients. But that’s not important right now. Thanks for all the laughs Leslie! You will ‘Shirley’ be missed.
Buy the PS3 “Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune” Video Game
Mark Wahlberg’s Official Website
David O. Russell on IMDb
JJ Abrams’ Klingons
Pos-T-Vac – A penis pump covered by Medicare!
MichaelBay.com – Setting the record straight!
IESB.net “Transformers 3″ Article
Marina City News Online’s “Transformers 3″ Article
Look up your own “This Day In History” facts
The Prince Chunk Foundation – Helps pet owners keep their furry friends during financial difficulties.
New Releases for Tuesday, November 30th:
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2-Disc Special Edition)
Fantasia and Fantasia 2000 (4-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo)
The Sorcerer’s Apprentice (2-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo)
Knight and Day (3-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo+ Digital Copy)
Parks & Recreation (Season 2)
Going the Distance
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
Marvel Knights: Iron Man – Extremis
Michael Douglas Film Collection