Posts Tagged ‘heart attack grill’
Hot girls have problems too; so says a new song making its viral rounds on YouTube. The singers, shallow whores, as described by Charlie, audibly abuse our ears as they explain their plight of being hot and the tribulations that go with such a curse. The song isn’t all that hot though. It’s poorly mixed, horribly sung and has surpassed Rebecca Black’s, Friday as the worst song ever! You can check out the music video for it (equally terrible) in our Show Links.
As you’ll hear on today’s episode, it’s not just hot girls that have problems. Other folks do too, including yours truly. I have a problem with all the people who carry around Canon 5D Mark II DSLR cameras and think they’re filmmakers because of that. I attended the National Association of Broadcasters convention and couldn’t help but notice how Canon has become the Apple of the video production world. Overpriced, over hyped, and not necessarily any better than other options out there. Since this show isn’t really about video production or the gear used within it, I’ll leave it there before your eyes glaze over.
Another person with serious problems is Mel Gibson. He has, once again, been recorded having a cuss-filled tantrum. The teenage son of a screenwriter is to thank for this entertainment. He whipped out his iPhone and recorded Gibson going to town on his dad for not finishing the script to a movie in which the LETHAL WEAPON actor is supposed to star. What makes this even funnier, is the meltdown takes place just before a dinner party with other guests and their children present. I play some of the highlights from it for all of our amusement.
Hot chicks wanting to travel the world could quickly have problems thanks to a new online dating/travel website. MissTravel.com helps pretty ladies who can’t afford to see the world link up with rich lonely fellows as traveling companions. The one-percent spring for all expenses, and in exchange they get some arm candy for their trip. The website says to use the service with caution because they don’t perform ANY background checks on ANY members. Sounds completely safe to me.
And there’s heart problems for a woman in our Breaking News segment this week. She collapsed while eating a Double Bypass Burger at The Heart Attack Grill. As I state at the top of the show, this place is in the news so much and blips our show’s radar so often, it may need its own segment. This incident occurs less than two months after another patron there dropped to the ground from a heart attack. Both he and the woman are expected to recover. But blame is once again flying as idiots point their stupid fingers at the restaurant. It is, after all, America. In this country it’s always someone else’s fault. You got a problem with that?
MTV.com: Tupac Hologram May Be Coming To An Arena Near You
TheWrap.com: Mel Gibson Rant to Joe Eszterhas
MissTravel.com – An international raping is just a few clicks away!
The Heart Attack Grill
DamnInteresting.com: The Great Taste of Human Flesh, Without the Guilt
New Releases for Tuesday, May 1st:
Joyful Noise (DVD + UltraViolet Digital Copy)
New Year’s Eve (DVD + Ultraviolet Digital Copy)
Men In Black II [Blu-ray]
The Tim Burton Collection With Book (Amazon.com Exclusive) [Blu-ray]
Whitney Houston: We Will Always Love You
Kojak (Season 4)
Transformers Japanese Collection: Super-God Masterforce
Wagon Train (Season 5)
Mimic: 3-Film Set
With all this talk of history and catching things, I feel it’s time to tell you about today’s show! A certain TV series made ‘history’ last night during our broadcast (central time). THE SIMPSONS aired their 500th episode. Its plot was just like the ho-hum movie they released a few years back. As you might expect, this launches us into our usual quote-fest of Simpson memories followed by the continued mulling of how relevant the show is still.
Then a quote-fest you might not expect… TITANIC. During the Calendar segment, I announce that Billy Zane will celebrate his birthday on Friday. We ramble off a few films he’s done including the James Cameron epic, followed by his best lines in it.
Perhaps our biggest story of the night is the ironic events that occurred at the Las Vegas branch of The Heart Attack Grill. For some reason this place just keeps coming up on our show. Perhaps its their morbid sense of humor. Their view on enjoying life and food the way YOU want to. Or maybe it’s just the fact that funny shit keeps happening with them. Our chronicle continues with the latest incident in which an actual heart attack is suffered by a “patient” while eating a Triple Bypass Burger. The call for the grills to be turned off for good is once again resonating with health experts and all around stick-in-the-muds. After all, a single burger WILL trigger a heart attack. It’s not your lifestyle or years of fat accumulation. No no… it’s that single burger you crammed down your pie hole that jammed the cogs of your ticker. Some have gone as far as calling the establishment socially irresponsible. Our take on this view today.
From lots-o-calories to lots-o-money. Or lack there of. Former NBA superstar, Allen Iverson brings us a cautionary tale of what NOT to do with your easily-earned scratch. The ball player once amassed a fortune of over $150-million. Now he can’t even pay $800,000 owed to his jeweler. His bank account has been seized and he is as poor as the rest of us. With all this “we are the 1%” talk buzzing the nation, it’s infuriating to read about someone so disgustingly rich just pissing away their money. How many times have you read about someone winning the lottery, inheriting a fortune or somehow coming into a huge sum of cash and you said to yourself, “What I could do with that kind of money…” On the other hand, it is his money to lose. I’m sure that’s no comfort to him of course. We share our thoughts on this as well.
And it may not be hundreds-of-millions-of-dollars, but a public high school in Cincinnati is offering students $25 gift cards if they have good attendance and stay out of trouble. The school, which has a graduation rate lower than that of the middle class’s federal income tax just starting the program and has already seen a 15% improvement in students’ attendance. That’s great news, but why should schools — which are more broke than Allen Iverson right now — have to pay students to show up? Where are their parents? Where are the leather belts? I would go to school with my kid and sit through every class with them if they tried to skip. I would handcuff them to their desk if need be. It all starts at home folks. This is money the district is taking from teachers and other students who are good and do show up… just not on President’s Day… we all get that day off.
New Releases for Tuesday, February 21st:
Puss in Boots (2-disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo + Digital Copy)
Weeds (Season 7)
J. Edgar (2-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo + UltraViolet Digital Copy)
Nurse Jackie (Season 3)
The Epic Journey of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson [Blu-ray]
Matlock (Season 7)
Young Justice (Season 1, Volume 3)
Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century (Complete Series)
The first half of this week’s episode is probably one of the more random half-hours we’ve had in awhile. It starts off with the “Who Asked You? Calendar,” our newest segment. This is where we look at some of the more obscure holidays you may not know are coming in the week ahead. As well as some famous birthdays. As you might imagine, we have a hard time containing our excitement over “Dictionary Day.” Then a popular sci-fi actress’s birthday spawns a brief random, “Who Fact You?” moment brought to us by Jabari.
Then it’s onto E-Mails. A loyal listener tells us a few episodes back, while talking about Steve Jobs stepping down at Apple, we kinda sounded like assholes. In particular, I made the comment that people were eulogizing him and he wasn’t dead yet. My comment was somewhat prophetic given the following week, he was.
At the end of the E-Mail, we’re reminded to take care of our teeth. And in true Who Asked You? style, this sends us spiraling into a conversation about oral care. And is the inspiration behind this program’s title.
And if all this wasn’t random enough, the new DVD releases conjures up even more! THE GOONIES is coming out on Blu-ray. Being the 80′s flick fiends that we are, we can’t help but quote a few lines from the film. But then the real conversation… Dennis wonders if the guy who played Sloth, John Matuszak, was actually deformed like the character was in the movie. A quick image search of the actor revealed what the rest of us already knew… no, he wasn’t. In fact, he was featured in a magazine posing all sexy and nude. This launches a few more jokes, and wouldn’t you know it… come to find out, he’s dead too. I guess we really are assholes.
Another big story today is the salary dispute of THE SIMPSONS voice actors. In this day and age, where TV and movie companies are fighting an uphill battle for revenue against the Internet, jobs of any kind are hard to come by, let alone in the entertainment industry and voice actors are being systematically replaced by on-camera ones that use their regular voices, it astounds me that these people would bitch over a pay cut that would keep them working for years to come and would still have them raking in a quarter of a million per episode. Are you kidding me?!?! Be thankful you’ve steadily worked in Hollywood for 23 years and take the god damned cut. You’ll hear more Chase rant like this on the actual show.
With all the superhero movies out there, it’s no surprise that someone “tried this at home.” In Seattle, Washington a vigilante calling himself “Phoenix Jones” has been fighting crime for about a year. And like most heroes, he’s kept his identity secret… don’t want any of those evil Seattle super villains going after his family after all. Well, reality punched him in the face last week and he was forced to reveal himself on the steps of the courthouse after he was charged with assaulting 4 people he claims were fighting. We discuss and make fun of this guy too. At least he’s not dead… yet.
And in “Breaking News” we make fun of another guy, Saddam Hussein… okay, it’s not actually Saddam, it’s an Egyptian resident who bears a striking resemblance to the former Iraq leader. Sure, he gets harrassed for his looks and doesn’t deserve it. But that’s not the whole story. Tune in to hear about the job offer he turned down and what happened after.
WhatsYourPrice.com – Bid on the chance to go on a first date with other users!
Buy “Arrested Development (Complete Series)” on DVD
The Heart Attack Grill – Now in Las Vegas!
New Releases for Tuesday, October 16th:
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo in Blu-ray Packaging) or the Four-Movie Collection (Blu-ray + Digital Copy)
Batman: Year One (Blu-ray/DVD Combo + Digital Copy)
Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Season 3)
The Goonies [Blu-ray]
Willy Wonka & Chocolate Factory (3-Disc 40th Anniversary Collector’s Edition Blu-ray/DVD Combo)
V (Season 2)
Captain America and Captain America II: Death Too Soon
Thundercats (Season 1, Book 1)
Briefly, a friend and listener of the show E-Mails us again this week with what is clearly a body-double for Dennis. We can all see the resemblance. Can you? What’s more, the look-alike, whose name is Mauricio is also one of our Facebook Fans! How awesome is that? A big thanks to Mauricio for hitting that Like button and for looking like Dennis.
Our Poll this week poses the question to you, what’s your favorite Thanksgiving dish? That same question then goes to our panel and I’m sorry I asked it. A half-show argument erupts after Dennis brings up ‘gravy’. For him, gravy is nature’s food moisturizer. It apparently belongs drizzled over everything on your Thanksgiving plate. But there’s some differing of opinion on this. So much so that Russ, a friend who occasionally sits in on the show had to join in the conversation. He couldn’t sit quietly in the peanut gallery and let Dennis run amuck on his gravy gallivant. The spirited chat drifts from whose mom has the best recipe to what dishes you should cover in gravy. Some feel only the turkey gets the brown bath. Others *cough* Dennis, think everything should be painted, even your stuffing, err… dressing… whatever. Eventually everyone kind of agrees to disagree and “it’s all gravy”.
What’s not all gravy is Tony Scott’s upcoming sequel to TOP GUN. It may not seem like this story will ever get told on the show. I skipped it last week by accident and this week we don’t even get to the New Releases until 30 minutes in, but I promise, I read it this time. Will Tom Cruise reprise his role? Tune in and find out.
And the gravy is tainted over at Warner Bros. as someone â€” most likely an employee â€” leaked the first 36 minutes of the latest Harry Potter movie online. The company has launched an investigation. And there were concerns it might hurt the film’s opening weekend. Really? Who was worried about that? It’s Harry Potter for Christ’s sake. It could be 30 minutes of Daniel Radcliffe with explosive diarrhea and people would pay to see it. As you’ll hear on the show, the box office suffered no ill effects from the roughly 1/5 of the film finding its way to the web.
Quiter Palin, err, I mean Sarah Palin and her family continue to show up in the news. Whether it’s Sarah herself blowing useless verbage out of her pie hole on Fox News and her new reality show on TLC, her daughter Bristol ‘mysteriously’ making it to the finals of ABC’s DANCING WITH THE STARS or her other daughter Willow doing a little gay bashing on Facebook… there’s something for everyone to point and laugh at in the Palin clan. I wonder if Quiter, I mean, Sarah makes good gravy for Thanksgiving?
A little boy at a Tennessee restaurant probably wishes he’d ordered something with gravy on it instead of the chili. After his meal arrived the server told the boy to try some rather exclusive hot sauce on it. Unfortunately that sauce was so hot the kid had to be taken to the ER.
If that family had been in Arizona, they could’ve gone to the HEART ATTACK GRILL and medical attention in sexy little nurse outfits would’ve been right there on-hand. The world-famous hospital-themed burger joint has always caught flack for its high-calorie concoctions and now it’s worse than ever with a new promotion they’re ‘heavily’ advertising. We’ll tell you all about it.
Whether you pour gravy on your turkey, mashed potatoes or pumpkin pie… whether you’re spending Thanksgiving in Alaska or at the world’s most unhealthy grill… make it a good one! Enjoy your friends, family and all the food. Happy Thanksgiving!
The Tuggie – It’s a Snuggie for your junk!
Rockstar Games’ L.A. Noire
Vulture’s TOP GUN 2 Article
Jerry Bruckheimer’s Website
Tony Scott on IMDb
Buy “Top Gun” on DVD
George Clooney on IMDb
Get “The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (Complete Series)”
Official Harry Potter Movie Website
Sarah Palin’s Alaska – Awful… just awful.
ABC’s Dancing With The Stars
Blair’s Mega Death Sauce
Heart Attack Grill – If you weigh more than 350 lbs. you eat FREE!
New Releases for Tuesday, November 23rd:
The Expendables (3-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo + Digital Copy)
Eat Pray Love
7th Heaven (The Final Season)
The Tudors (Complete Series)
Madea’s Big Happy Family
A Nanny For Christmas
12 Men Of Christmas
The Situation Workout
I’m Still Here
Space Precinct (Complete Series)