Who Asked You?

Posts Tagged ‘michael bay’

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I can’t think of a better way to kick off our 200′s than with our April Fool’s Day show. The wonderful thing about Who Asked You? is that most of our stories from any given episode sound like they could be a joke. That’s why our April Fool’s show is so easy to put together. And that’s why it’s so hard for the guys to figure out what’s real and what’s not. I thought this year’s show would be rather easy to figure out. Boy was I wrong. The guys are each fooled multiple times. This made me very happy. I stuck in a fake DVD that IS NOT coming out on Tuesday. Can you guess which one? The fellas couldn’t!
Now, our first story of the show is all true. Ordinarily I wouldn’t have included such an easy one on the April Fool’s episode, but this could not be ignored. It of course, is the news that Michael Bay is turning the Teenage MUTANT Ninja Turtles into aliens in his new live-action movie. You’ve no doubt heard about this already. By all accounts, we really wish this were an April Fool’s prank. And so does a good portion of the Internet. Bay made the announcement at a Nickelodeon presentation and the blogosphere, Twitter, Facebook and most other website errupted with hatred and rage. The backlash was so bad, Bay had to make an official announcement on his website. Anytime you have to make an announcement because your target audience hates your script idea before the script is even finished, means you should rethink your idea. But no! Not Michael Bay. He’s pushing forward and simply telling everyone to “chill”. Meanwhile, Hollywood politics are in full effect as voice actors from the previous films take either the fans’ side or Bay’s side. Basically, the ones looking to score a voice gig on the project are the ones buttering up Bay.
Once we’re warmed up, it’s time to really get the foolery going. Keep in mind, one, some or all of these stories may or may not be real. No cheating! News has come down that movie theaters are mad 3D didn’t take off the way they thought it would. Awww, you mean most sane people didn’t want to cough up $17 to wear a giant pair of plastic glasses that blurs and desaturates the screen? Who’da thunk it? So, their plan is to level off the ticket prices. In other words, lower the price of a 3D ticket and raise the price of the 2D one. They’ll meet somewhere in the middle meaning we’ll all have to pay even more to see a crappy remake, sequel or comic book adaptation. Orrrrr will we?
Streaming video is apparently growing in popularity and in price. We enjoyed the killer deal from Netflix for far too long… as part of an effort to pay their bills and pay for production of exclusive content, the monthly price for their streaming only service is nearly doubling later this year. Or is it? Yeah it is. Or maybe not.
This next story had the entire Who Asked You? Crew fooled. It was announced this week that a TWINS sequel is in the works. This was the 1988 film in which Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito find out they’re long lost brothers and classic 80′s comedy ensues. The director of the first one, Ivan Reitman, will produce this sequel. Here’s the part that swayed the guys’ opinion of whether this was for real or not… The story will apparently center on a triplet played by Eddie Murphy. April Fools? Perhaps… what did Dennis, Mike and Charlie choose? Find out by listening in.
And lastly, does it sound like an April Fool’s joke that a gas station is offering self-serve beer on tap? What if I told you for about $3 plus the price of the beer, you could buy a 64-ounce growler and fill ‘er up while filling your tank? Do you think I’m foolin’ you on this one? I just might be. After all, it’s illegal in most, if not all states to have an open alcohol container in your car. I’m sure a Solo lid with a red straw sticking out of it doesn’t count as unopened. How could this possibly be legal? Is this possibly real? Take your best guess on this one. Join in the fun for our April Fool’s edition of the show and see how many you guess right and how many the gents got as well.

SHOW LINKS:
MichaelBay.com
Change.org Petition: Stop Michael Bay From Making The Ninja Turtles Aliens
Spot Light Theaters
Netflix
The Hollywood Reporter
Buy “Twins” on DVD
Sunoco’s APlus Gas Stations

New Releases for Tuesday, April 3rd:
War Horse (4-Disc Combo: Blu-ray/DVD + Digital Copy)
We Bought a Zoo (Blu-ray/DVD + Digital Copy)
Shasta McNasty (Complete Series)

Black Butler II: Complete Collection (Limited Edition, Blu-ray/DVD Combo)
3rd Rock From the Sun (Season 3) and (Season 4)
Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey
Designing Women (Season 6)
Roseanne (Season 3) and (Season 4)
Bob (Complete Series)
Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen
View From the Top

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Today we celebrate the birthdays of Presidents George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. Thanks to the Julian and Gregorian calendars, we’re not quite sure when Washington was born. The debate continues… we do know it was sometime in February, likely in the second or third week of the month. Lincoln’s was February 12th; close enough to merge with Washington’s and move both to a completely separate day for celebration. Some folks take the opportunity to celebrate ALL of the US Presidents. They all made their mark on this country’s history… take President William Harrison for example. He delivered a 2-hour inauguration speech, the longest of any president, and he did it in the pouring rain! Impressive, but a flawed idea given he caught pneumonia and died 31 days after taking office. There, you learned something. And Mike learns, at the end of today’s show, what the theme music means. Stay tuned for that!
With all this talk of history and catching things, I feel it’s time to tell you about today’s show! A certain TV series made ‘history’ last night during our broadcast (central time). THE SIMPSONS aired their 500th episode. Its plot was just like the ho-hum movie they released a few years back. As you might expect, this launches us into our usual quote-fest of Simpson memories followed by the continued mulling of how relevant the show is still.
Then a quote-fest you might not expect… TITANIC. During the Calendar segment, I announce that Billy Zane will celebrate his birthday on Friday. We ramble off a few films he’s done including the James Cameron epic, followed by his best lines in it.
Perhaps our biggest story of the night is the ironic events that occurred at the Las Vegas branch of The Heart Attack Grill. For some reason this place just keeps coming up on our show. Perhaps its their morbid sense of humor. Their view on enjoying life and food the way YOU want to. Or maybe it’s just the fact that funny shit keeps happening with them. Our chronicle continues with the latest incident in which an actual heart attack is suffered by a “patient” while eating a Triple Bypass Burger. The call for the grills to be turned off for good is once again resonating with health experts and all around stick-in-the-muds. After all, a single burger WILL trigger a heart attack. It’s not your lifestyle or years of fat accumulation. No no… it’s that single burger you crammed down your pie hole that jammed the cogs of your ticker. Some have gone as far as calling the establishment socially irresponsible. Our take on this view today.
From lots-o-calories to lots-o-money. Or lack there of. Former NBA superstar, Allen Iverson brings us a cautionary tale of what NOT to do with your easily-earned scratch. The ball player once amassed a fortune of over $150-million. Now he can’t even pay $800,000 owed to his jeweler. His bank account has been seized and he is as poor as the rest of us. With all this “we are the 1%” talk buzzing the nation, it’s infuriating to read about someone so disgustingly rich just pissing away their money. How many times have you read about someone winning the lottery, inheriting a fortune or somehow coming into a huge sum of cash and you said to yourself, “What I could do with that kind of money…” On the other hand, it is his money to lose. I’m sure that’s no comfort to him of course. We share our thoughts on this as well.
And it may not be hundreds-of-millions-of-dollars, but a public high school in Cincinnati is offering students $25 gift cards if they have good attendance and stay out of trouble. The school, which has a graduation rate lower than that of the middle class’s federal income tax just starting the program and has already seen a 15% improvement in students’ attendance. That’s great news, but why should schools — which are more broke than Allen Iverson right now — have to pay students to show up? Where are their parents? Where are the leather belts? I would go to school with my kid and sit through every class with them if they tried to skip. I would handcuff them to their desk if need be. It all starts at home folks. This is money the district is taking from teachers and other students who are good and do show up… just not on President’s Day… we all get that day off.

SHOW LINKS:
The Simpsons
Heart Attack Grill
Allen Iverson’s NBA.com Page
MichaelBay.com

New Releases for Tuesday, February 21st:
Puss in Boots (2-disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo + Digital Copy)
Weeds (Season 7)
J. Edgar (2-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo + UltraViolet Digital Copy)
The Way
Tower Heist
Nurse Jackie (Season 3)
The Epic Journey of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson [Blu-ray]
Matlock (Season 7)
Young Justice (Season 1, Volume 3)
Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century (Complete Series)

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What could the title of today’s show possibly mean? It’s not even a word. It’s a…. ummm… Ebonic version of a word I suppose. It comes to us care of a YouTube link one of our faithful listeners forwarded to us. You can watch the video for yourself in the Show Links below. It appears to be a homemade rap video in which a man on parole for something raps some rather simple lyrics to a beat created using machine guns. As he states in the video, he’s about to “make deez rifles bursss.” This is just one more example of the boundless and typically questionable entertainment found on the world’s most popular video sharing site.
As we get into the new DVD’s the Rifle Burs song continues, only this time we’re making up the lyrics. After the show we were joking around and found out it is surprisingly easy to do so.
On our show we love to talk about products with whimsical names. And we’ve got 2 for you today. The first is mentioned at the top of the show. It’s a book called “Stuck Up!”. And has a rather literal meaning in terms of describing the book’s content. The other is a couple of energy drinks from a new Las Vegas-based beverage company. Don’t expect these cans to show up anytime soon in places like Utah. So far the company has 2 flavors, “Big Cock” and “Little Pussies”. Although the drinks don’t actually taste like their namesakes, you can’t help but wonder how open retailers are going to be to items named like this. Just look at the tantrum that was briefly thrown over Ben & Jerry’s “Schweddy Balls” ice cream. And that wasn’t even spelled as precise. The company says they’ll probably have some ‘toned down’ versions of the names for those conservative retailers.
If you’ve ever wondered how many explosions Michael Bay has set off in his career, wonder no more. The website, MovieLine.com managed to sit through all of his flicks and counted every last mushroom cloud, fireball and flash of flames. The numbers are staggering. About half of his explosions are contained in the TRANSFORMERS trilogy alone. And of those, over a third of them were in THE DARK OF THE MOON. Lets play a game for a moment. Lets say, given man power, supplies, union wages and so on, each explosion costed $10,000… and that’s probably a conservative estimate. If that was the case, he would’ve spent $6,220,000 on explosions alone for the 3 TRANSFORMERS films. Keep in mind, this was just a hypothetical to illustrate the ridiculousness of Bay’s cinema prowess.
Meanwhile across the pond in the UK, the founders of a fashion label and magazine there are attempting to push legislation through that would regulate digitally altered photographs in magazines. Pictures of movie stars, models or other celebrities that were Photoshopped in some fashion would be required to include a disclaimer announcing it. The married couple who started this campaign say they were inspired by young women who feel inferior to celebrities when they see them in magazines and on posters. I pose the question to the guys, is this a good idea? What do you think? Maybe it’s up to the parents of kids to tell them these images are fake. These people have bags under their eyes, enlarged pores and zits on their cheeks just like us common folk do.
And while on the subject of beauty… in our Breaking News segment we head to Compton, where the school district there is blatantly denying that a former porn star, one Miss Sasha Grey, visited an elementary school and read to a group of students. Not only did Grey twat that she spent her morning at the school reading to the students, but TMZ also obtained a photo of her reading to the students. The school still denies she was there. This is the topic of our We Ask You Poll this week. The parents of these kids were pretty ticked off over this. But it’s not like she was doing it naked, or announced to the kids that she used to work in porn. Would you be mad if a porn star read to your kids at school? Keep in mind, these were elementary school students. They probably had no idea who she was. As a chatter in the ErrorFM chat room pointed out, they couldn’t have done this at a high school!

SHOW LINKS:
Stuck Up!: 100 Objects Inserted and Ingested in Places They Shouldn’t Be
Erotic Beverages – Makers of “Little Pussie” and “Big Cock” energy drinks.
Guess How Many Onscreen Explosions Michael Bay Has Created?
MichaelBay.com
Sasha Grey’s Website
TMZ.com
ABC News

New Releases for Tuesday, November 29th:
The Smurfs
Beyonce Live at Roseland: Elements of 4 (2 DVDs)
Smallville (Season 10)
Friends with Benefits
30 Rock (Season 5)
Hot in Cleveland (Season 2)
Horror Express (DVD/Blu-ray Combo)
Another Earth (2-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo + Digital Copy)
Our Idiot Brother
30 Minutes or Less

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Alright, so you’re reading this which means God didn’t suck you up into the sky in a blaze of golden light and rich choir ahhhs. It also means that somewhere, Harold Camping is crawling under a rock and plans to remain there for eternity. While one biblical event slipped by, another was taking place. A woman on our show! Now the way I said that sounds like we are vag-deprived and creepy. The truth is, it’s tough getting a female on who enjoys our brand of humor and whose schedule compliments ours. But the stars aligned, timing worked out, Dennis and Jabari couldn’t make it and so their seats were filled with our friends Wendy and once again, Chad. And finally Chad opens up and actually talks on the show. He was on twice before and said a grand total of 5 sentences. If someone out there goes back and actually counts that, I’d be impressed, because I just guessed and am too lazy to actually check myself.
It took no time at all for the Rapture jokes to hit the web and even more so, Facebook. In an instantaneous Photoshop frenzy there were even depictions of the late Macho Man Randy Savage — who had died the day before — coupled with Jesus in various WWE poses. No time was wasted posting the Jesus-jabs from leaving empty clothing in a public place, to a Dominos Pizza deal good only for Rapture Day. The Intertubes had it all!
From the Rapture to racism we float with another edition of “What Is Michael Bay Up To?” A nerd-rant E-Mail came in this week going off on those who sacked the visceral sack birth idea shown in TRANSFORMERS-2. The point made by our listener was that these ‘sacks’ weren’t conjured up by the Bay-inator as many fans believed, but instead were first mentioned in one of the older cartoon series. To which this E-Mailer argued, you aren’t aloud to complain about them unless you know the franchise yourself. Before you go off on something that isn’t cannon… make sure that it isn’t actually cannon.
But it’s not just jelly-covered embryonic robots people were pissed about in the second film. They weren’t too fond of Bay’s blatant racist robot duo, Skids and Mudflap. Both of which could reference something brown. Well Mr. Bay heard your fist shaking and vowed that these Transformers wouldn’t be in the next movie. And if you can find them in it, he’ll pay you a hefty cash reward. More on this during today’s show.
While we’re on the subject of large sums of money… let us talk now about Seth MacFarlane. Fox has dumped an enormous amount of money into this funny fellow. In return he’s given them 3 television shows, with just 1 of those actually being any good. But that could change in a couple of years. MacFarlane could have 2 hits come 2013 when he revives our Bedrock buddies Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble. A long time coming, MacFarlane will finally get his chance to put his twisted twist on the 60′s Hanna-Barbera animation. We ponder the possibilities of what this show will be like. Good, clean, family fun like the original? Probably not. Funny-ass toilet humor run amok? Probably. Will it do the franchise justice? That’s the 900-pound Stegosaurus in the room. As clever and as funny as FAMILY GUY is, we can’t help but think Seth is going to ‘dirty it up’ with his crude humor. Not that it won’t be funny. But is THE FLINTSTONES really an appropriate platform for it? They make vitamins for kids! A million strong and growing for Christ sake… oops, please don’t take me! The 21st has past! It’s too early to judge and in all honesty we’ll be watching, curious to see what he does with it.
Did I mention we have a FEMALE sitting in today? Wendy is from Hawaii… so what better way to honor her presence than with some hilarious Hawaiian laws. Not the strangest we’ve heard, there are a few though that are worth a couple-a-coconuts. Some Wendy doesn’t even believe are real. “It’s The Law” winds up this episode. With all this Rapture-talk the last few days we need some time to repent so we’re taking next week off. You can come back though June 5th and we’ll have several more new reasons to guarantee our spot in hell.

SHOW LINKS:
Read about Macho Man Randy Savage
MichaelBay.com
Transformers Movie Website
Transformers Official Website
Seth MacFarlane on Twitter
Fox
Buy “The Flintstones” Complete Series on DVD
Buy “The Flintstones” Live-Action Movie on DVD

New Releases for Tuesday, May 24th:
The Royal Wedding: William & Catherine
Gnomeo & Juliet
I Am Number Four
Gods and Generals: Extended Director’s Cut (Blu-ray Book Packaging)
Platoon (Two-Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo)
Transformers (Complete Series)
The Big Bang
Samurai Champloo (Complete Series)
Ice Road Truckers Deadliest Roads (Season 1)
The Kids in the Hall: Death Comes To Town

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I thought about starting this post with some overused Easter pun like, “We’ve got an ‘egg’cellent show today!” But that would just be lame. Plus, although this show falls around Easter, it’s not really an ‘Easter show’ per say. Mike, being the spiritual fellow he is, is out this week. So our good pal Chad sits in. And we can not shut him up. Chad takes over the entire show and doesn’t stop talking. He’s the most boisterous guest host we’ve ever had… once again, sarcasm fails to convey via text. Chad says like 3 things the entire show. What does he comment on? Here’s what’s in the lineup.
Kohler has unveiled a technological marvel of human waste disposal. It’s called the NUMI, and it is perhaps the most advanced toilet ever conceived. I would say it does everything but wipe your ass… but it actually does. To be accurate, there’s no robo-arm that reaches up to clear the spackle. But there is a robo-bidet that washes it away. For you uncultured folks out there, a bidet is a water jet that spritzes your butthole after you lay your Easter eggs in their watery basket. It leaves you feeling refreshed and mildly violated. Anywho, Kohler’s toilet does it all… transforms, heats your feet and cheeks, plays music, lights up and more! Just make sure you’re ready to drop some major bones on this throne.
From a place to shit, to a night out that went to shit; our next story tells the tale of 2 college students charged with theft after leaving a bar in Pennsylvania without leaving a tip. All the details are in this week’s show. But simply put, they felt the ‘required’ gratuity on the receipt was not earned by their crappy waitress. As a result the police became involved. This leads to a lengthy discussion about whether or not tipping should be mandatory and shampoo. Yeah, tune in to hear that segue.
Bugs Bunny definitely took a wrong turn at Albuquerque. He and several of his Looney Tunes pals are getting a facelift, relocation and reboot thanks to CARTOON NETWORK. The show finds Bugs and Daffy as roommates. With its sitcom feel, the program’s goal is to bring these classic characters into the 21st century. Unfortunately, I don’t think their plan is going to work. And the guys agree. The show starts airing next month and I’ll tune in to see the end result of 2 years worth of development. But I’m not holding out hope. This show, going off the promo clips on their website, reeks of DRAWN TOGETHER, only more slapstick. Fifty years ago, whodda thought perhaps the greatest cartoon characters ever created would eventually end up living in a neighborhood dealing with current-day issues in a sitcom/reality show spoof?
And in a move that could devastate the motion picture industry — and we’re not talking about the next X-Men movie — the studios are in talks with cable companies to start offering theatrically released films on-demand, at home, just 2-months after they premiere on the big screen. That’s 2-months shy of the normal wait period. As you might have guessed, directors aren’t happy. They weren’t consulted and are afraid this move could kill ticket sales and promote piracy. What do you think? Feel free to send us your thoughts. Michael Bay, James Cameron, Robert Rodriguez and several others have written an open letter to the studios begging them to not move forward. But as box office numbers continue to decline, as do DVD sales and more folks would rather see stuff for free online, because lets face it, movies these days aren’t worth the $10, the studios are basically panicking. They, along with the directors don’t seem to realize, shit in, shit out. This whole plan could and probably will decimate the industry’s revenues. But then again, it could just be the proverbial bidet to clean up the shit.

SHOW LINKS:
COLT 45′s BLAST – Your FOUR LOKO replacement!
The Kohler Numi – We’re not shittin’ you… most advanced toilet EVER!
Looney Tunes Official Website
“The Looney Tunes Show” on Cartoon Network
Michael Bay & Other Top Filmakers Decry 60-Day Premium Video On Demand

New Releases for Tuesday, April 26th:
South Park (Season 14)
Eden of the East: The King of Eden (Blu-ray/DVD Combo)
Blow Out (The Criterion Collection) [Blu-ray]
Marvel The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes (Volume 1) and (Volume 2)
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (The Criterion Collection) [Blu-ray]
Growing Pains (Season 2)
Dragon Ball Z: Dragon Box Five
Sniper: Reloaded
The Crow (Miramax/Dimension Collector’s Series)
The Terror [Blu-Ray + DVD Combo Pack]