Who Asked You?

Posts Tagged ‘poop’

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We’ve certainly had one of these before… I’m, of course, talking about a shit-centric show. And, of course, there will be discussion of actual shit. However, we do have some news on the other kinds of shit. Those include steamy logs dumped off at your local cineplex. And turds you see on TV. Charlie is out this week and filling in for him is our semi-official go to backup host, John Flemming.
Lets start with the tube turds. We waited to talk about this until today because last week was our annual movie preview show and also Dennis was absent. On New Year’s Eve we didn’t tune into the typical Time Square extravaganza broadcast, but rather a cable access-worthy brown nugget called, FIRST NIGHT 2013. It was hosted by Jamie Kennedy. It was a complete train wreck. Entertaining for all the WRONG reasons. Sloppy camera work, awkward comments made while mics were still hot, bland off-key musical performances and colorful language the FCC frowns upon were sent out over the airwaves uncensored as though it were airing on HBO. These were just a few notes we made as we drunkenly laughed at what could be one of the worst network broadcasts in history. If you didn’t catch any of the Carl’s Jr. sponsored bedlam, fear not. We’ll squeeze out the details for you on this week’s show.
We’re not done crapping on TV yet. News has just come down that NBC is passing on MOCKINGBIRD LANE, their weird, gothic dramedy take on the old THE MUNSTERS sitcom. Having the highest Friday night ratings of any show in the past two years on the peacock apparently wasn’t good enough. I was the only one of the group who watched it and NO, it wasn’t good enough… despite those ratings.
But there’s even more poop on NBC. We’re on Jenkem Watch thanks to a hilarious confession from TODAY’s Al Roker about an ill-timed shart he once had. We’ll tell you all about it and we’ll reveal what we would’ve done if in Al’s situation.
Do beautiful women turn you on? What if they’re covered in animal feces? Or compost? Oh, I know… you get off on the dames caked in manure, don’t you? You’re a filthy one aren’t you? Well, IF — and that’s a big ‘if’ — you’re into that sort of thing, you may want to check out the calendar from the Fertile Earth Foundation. They’re on a mission to educate folks on the benefits and cost savings of composting with your own dookie. The caca-calendar features a lovely model for each month in some sort of smelly situation. It’s the second part of Jenkem Watch this week. There’s only about a thousand of these getting printed, so act fast.
Now it’s time for a steamy log on the silver screen. Friday brought us an announcement from Universal Pictures that the long awaited JURASSIC PARK 4 will release the summer of 2014. Now, as JURASSIC PARK is my favorite movie, I am excited. However, when I read some of the details from a previous draft of the script on today’s show, that excitement will quickly be flushed away. Butt, there may still be some hope floating around thanks to the news of who’s writing the NEW screenplay draft. By the way, I’m not sure how many poop puns I have left. So I’ll try and wrap this up soon.
It’s no wonder we haven’t seen a STAR WARS live-action TV series yet. The one Rick McCallum over at Lucasfilm came up with would’ve cost $5-million per episode to make. Apparently those who saw the budget shit their pants worse than Al Roker and fifty scripts that were written got shelved. Well, now that ABC owns STAR WARS and won’t have to pay enormous royalties to anyone, they’re seriously looking at that show once again.
One of Monopoly’s iconic game tokens is getting shit on. Hasbro feels it’s time to let one go. And they’re letting you decide… sort of. For a time you can go to a special website they’ve set up and vote for the piece you want to save. Then you can vote for the new piece that will replace the least popular one. Vote now so your favorite pewter pal has a, ‘Chance’. That pun wasn’t even poop related.
Lastly, it’s award season in Tinseltown which means some actors, directors and films will get shit on in the form of the Razzie Awards. Recognizing the absolute worst in motion picture production — a monumental task these days — the Razzie nominations included A-Listers from all walks of film. Tyler Perry, Kristen Stewart, Nicolas Cage, just to name a few. And the Worst Picture category has some doozies. You’ll hear our choice and lots more on this shitty edition of Who Asked You?.

SHOW LINKS:
NY Times: Ringing in the Year With Stage Bedlam
Fertile Earth Foundation
JurassicPark.com
Entertainment Weekly: ABC to look at ‘Star Wars’ live-action TV series
ABC
Star Wars Official Website
The Razzies
Save Your Favorite Monopoly Token!
Business Insider: The 10 Most Expensive Domain Names Of 2012

Check out Andrew Frederick’s YouTube Channel

Heard In This Week’s Open:
Rain Man
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Dumb and Dumber
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
National Lampoon’s Van Wilder

New DVD Releases for Tuesday, January 15th:
Taken 2
Merlin (Season 4)
To Rome With Love
The Man Who Knew Too Much (Criterion Collection) [Blu-ray]
The Possession
Runaway Slave: A New Underground Railroad
One Direction – The Invasion
Waking the Dead (Season 7)
Men of a Certain Age (Season 2)
Jackson Five (Complete Animated Series)

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What’s good? Well, we’ve got a number of things that are, on today’s program and few that aren’t. Most notably… WE ARE ALL BACK!!! It’s been a few months since all five of us hosted the show. Schedules got jumbled, trips were taken; there was always someone missing. But now, with Jabari’s return, the circle is once again complete.
First, the inspiration for this week’s title, a viral video on YouTube called, BEAUTY AND THE BEAT. It’s a rather urban spin on, “Little Town,” the very first song sung in Disney’s BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. Once again we find Belle as a bit of an outcast amongst her neighbors in the sleepy little projects. She makes her way through town as everyone she passes greets her with, “what’s good?” This video is certainly good. You can check it out in the Show Links below.
It’s also good that scientists are keeping an eye on how fast this rock we live on is spinning. Turns out, it’s actually slowing down. As a result, on Saturday they added one-second to the Universal Coordinated Time. They do this so that us normal folks’ clocks stay in tune with atomic clocks and we’re not eating lunch at midnight in 100,000 years.
Take a look at the image above. This is a charcoal filter that adheres to your underwear and filters out the odor of your farts. An E-Mail from a listener brought us this gem. We’ve run across similar products on the show in the past. But these set us off on a hypothetical of where the pads might come in handy best. We think at about 37,000 feet.
What’s NOT good? A new Snoop Dogg movie coming out on DVD tomorrow called, MAC & DEVIN GO TO HIGH SCHOOL. Once you hear the plot, we think you’ll agree. Snoop’s a little old to be playing a high school student. Maybe that’s the joke? Obviously the movie isn’t taking anything seriously. Just wait until you hear the name of the school.
Something else not too good, Foie Gras — fattened goose or duck liver. Not only is this delicacy cruel to the birds, it’s now banned in California for that very reason. Food advocates are going to try and get the law repealed. But as of Sunday, it’s illegal for restaurants in Cali to serve it. I’m going to go on record and say that internal organs of animals should not be eaten. It’s gross. Maybe that’s a bit hypocritical of my to say while jamming a fat hamburger down my gullet, but that’s as far as my meat consumption goes. I’m boring that way. Foie Gras doesn’t even look appetizing. It looks gross and slimy. Do we really need to eat this anyway? And who likes liver? Honestly? That’s our We Ask You Poll this week. Be sure and cast your vote!
What else is good? We’re once again on Jenkem Watch. A flood of fecal related news has been pinched off onto our radar and it’s our doody to bring it to you. There’s quite a mystery to solve at a Dollar General store in Lufkin, Texas where someone pooped on the storeroom floor despite readily available restrooms. There was so much of it, employees believed a large animal had gotten trapped in the room and did the deed. Security camera footage releaved that wasn’t the case. You’ll hear who done it!
This week is Be Nice To New Jersey week. It’s hard not to make a joke about them with stories like this next one. A 72 year-old man was arrested after threatening his neighbor with a gun because the neighbor farted so loud he heard it and smelt it through his apartment wall! The real question here is what in the hell has that guy been eating?
We wipe up Jenkem Watch with a principal in Canada being fired after he failed to stop a shitty prank played on two of his students. While on a canoe trip, an adult chaperone convinced a boy and girl to eat moose poop. How’d he do that? You’ll have to tune-in to find out.
It wasn’t intentional, but this week’s hour skews heavily toward flatulence and shit. Perhaps it’s what’s good? Who knows, maybe it’ll land us a sponsorship with a gas relief or constipation medication.

SHOW LINKS:
Toddyrockstar’s YouTube Channel
LaughingSquid.com: Flatulence Deodorizer Pads for the Inside of Your Underwear
Buy some Flat-D Flatulence Deodorizer Pads (Reusable)
Read about Foie Gras on Wikipedia

New Releases for Tuesday, July 3rd:
Treasure Planet: 10th Anniversary Edition [Blu-ray]
Barbarella [Blu-ray]
Monumental: In Search of America’s National Treasure
The Hunter
Home on the Range [Blu-ray]
Rocko’s Modern Life (Season 3)
The Forger
Mac & Devin Go to High School
Django Kill… If You Live, Shoot! [Blu-ray]
Man vs. Wild (Season 6)

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It’s our 200th episode!!! Congratulations to, umm… us!!! Yay!!! We’re trying something a little different this week. Instead of preparing a huge elaborate show/celebration, we went low-key and didn’t plan a damned thing. That’s why there are no Show Links or New Releases listed below. We’ll return to our regular format next time. I was a little apprehensive. No, scratch that… I was incredibly apprehensive about doing a show with no pre-planned topics or segments. But as you’ll discover, there was nothing for me to worry about. I should’ve known better. Especially after 200 shows. We have the gift of gab. We are chiefs of chat, bosses of blather, masters of the yak if you will. Filling an hour with random conversation is beyond second nature to us.
A whole spectrum of topics awaits you. For starters, Charlie throws out a random shout out which ends as abruptly as it begins. Then it’s onto a couple of E-Mails (the only predetermined part of this episode). This is where the randomitity picks up. More random than that word I just created. Charlie shares several short stories with us from being kicked out of a parking lot by a scary Russian guy, to mistaking Australian people for British people while doing his stand-up. This then leads to a critique of Pippa Middleton’s forehead.
Why not throw in a random movie review of JOHN CARTER while we’re at it? That’s thrown off by an announcement from Arnold Schwarzenegger that he’s pregnant. Which then turns our attention to Snooki. Charlie asks nicely to change the subject within a matter of seconds, so we do.
I could sit here and write out every thing that comes up and why, but that’s really for you to find out by listening to the show. I don’t want to spoil the fun. Listen in and find out why I’m posing the way I am in the photo above. Hear more of our thoughts on Apple’s new iPad, what we had for breakfast, Jennifer Garner’s career, the return of ‘The Bowel Movement’ and lots lots more. Hopefully this’ll all hold you over for a couple of weeks. We’ll be off next Sunday, but our April Fool’s show returns on the 1st and we’ve got new shows for the whole month!
Thanks to everyone for listening and showing your support… here’s to another 200!